Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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