Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
