Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
