Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
