my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
