i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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