I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
