i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
