I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
His hands were made for my vagina.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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