shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
