I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
