Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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