i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im six kinds of drunk right now
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
