Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
