But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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