Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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