Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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