I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
