i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
