the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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