i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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