Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
