Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
