yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
