you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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