A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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