she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Randomize
