What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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