They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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