Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
