My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
