whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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