I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So here I am, sexting at work.
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