i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
