His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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