Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
