good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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