Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
