Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Please don't give away my fajitas
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