It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
