Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
