it was like his penis was on wheels.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
