I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
