dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
