God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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