We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
