Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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