I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
