Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my shit smells like andre
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
