Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just invented taco cereal.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
