once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Terrible idea I love it
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
